2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG S 4Matic Wagon

On a recent, transcontinental flight home I warded off the mild urge to get some work done and started browsing Delta’s list of terrible movies for something that a) I hadn’t seen before, and b) I wouldn’t get in trouble for watching without my wife. I settled on a documentary called Somm, which follows four young and accomplished sommeliers on a mission to pass the mind-bendingly difficult Master Sommelier exam. In between a lot of late-night flash cards, obsequious Windsor knot tying and the popping/sniffing of hundreds of corks, I learned that there is a variety of wine enthusiasm that lives exclusively in the I-don’t-give-a-damn zone of connoisseurship.

Don’t get me wrong, I love wine, and I like to think that I can appreciate the difference between Barolo and Beaujolais, but the subtleties in variance between 2009 Bordeaux from Château Larrivet Haut-Brion or Château Tronquoy-Lalande are lost on me.

There’s a similar story to be told, I think, with this almost completely incomparable 2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG S 4Matic wagon – and I’m not only talking about the coded and lengthy proper name. For guys like me, and a lot of you, there’s something almost sexually compelling about the idea of a 577-horsepower, 590-pound-feet-of-torque V8 engine powering a freaking station wagon. Something primal in the desire for a vehicle that can both carry a rented pressure washer back to the house, and beat a Corvette Stingray out of the Home Depot parking lot.

That combination of things might interest you about as much as the subtle difference between grapes grown on neighboring vineyards in Provence interests me. Rational people, even rational people that like cars, might legitimately look at this $100k rocket boat and scratch their heads at my (our) ardor. But if you care on that level of geekery at all – wine or wagons – chances are good that you care a lot.


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